Top Ten Signs Of Toddler Parenthood

Every now and then a Top Ten list bubbles out of me. It appears, however, that I've shifted themes a bit. As if the short person hurtling periodically across your field of vision weren't enough, here are some things that might indicate you've unleashed a toddler on the world:

1. As fast as your child is getting big, you're getting old faster.


2. Fruit leather. In all possible receptacles.


3. Wikipedia provides helpful memory supplementation as to what precisely sleep might be.


4. Ditto routine personal hygiene.


5. Your vacuum cleaner cow has put in for overtime.


6. Among the things keeping you up at night: two plus years, and counting, of precious/unedited video.


7. Spousal exchange: "Whatever it is you're doing horizontal on the couch with the TV on, it's not child care."


8. You have learned humankind has no innate ability to distinguish between a makeup brush and a paint brush.


9. You have learned it does no good to allocate an iota of consciousness to all the times your child has almost, but not quite, done him/herself in.


10. What sticks with you from Blawg Review #53: Things You Don't Want To Hear Your 5-Year Old Say.

List in progress: Top Ten Things A Toddler Is Thinking. Suggestions? (It won't rival this incredible spontaneous collaborative work — thanks Jeneane, you made my week — but could be good for a chuckle or two.)