When Motherhood Makes You Feel Like A Boob
Wednesday, March 4, 2009 at 11:11AM 
I'd been a mom about a week when I learned that having a super-sterile breast pump is not worth burning your house down.
I was downstairs, folding laundry around the baby asleep in the sling by Dr. Sears (enthusiastically endorsed by Dr. Searls), hoping CNN might catch me up on what had happened while I'd been in the hospital. Suddenly, "Arr, Arr, ARR!" The smoke alarms blasted tranquility to bits and I raced upstairs to find 4-foot flames where, an hour before, there'd been a pot starting to boil the bits of my breast pump squeaky clean. Far be it for any bacteria to invade my little youngster...who may someday overcome the smoke inhalation he endured as I doused the fire, carried the molten mess outside, and explained the debacle to the arriving fire fighters.
It wasn't long after that recapturing spilled breast milk with a (brand new! but still – ew) sponge seemed like a a better alternative than letting the hard-won elixir be paper-toweled into the trash.
I wish I could say, 5+ years into this, that mommy-brain gets better as children get older. I mean, as their wits sharpen, shouldn't ours?? But if the mis-rsvp'd birthday invitations, neglected birthday wishes — with the birthday-person waiting expectantly on the phone for me to clue in, no less — and increasingly intricate and artistic pattern of rim and bumper bashes are any indication (thank goodness for EFF stickers), no amount of ginko biloba will serve to reverse the degenerative effects. Time to just relax and enjoy the slide.
Reader Comments (3)
i spilled breast milk on my (work) macbook. even after the thing died i was still way more upset about the breast milk. fortunately the macbook was fixed by replacing the keyboard assembly. whew!
We did the same thing, although we caught it before it burst into flames! Did lose a pot and had to make an early morning run to the store to replace the medela attachments.
He's 7 now. I too expected improvement. It's a little better, but not pre-baby levels of focus and concentration.
With my 4 month old, I lose milk at every feeding when it sprays out all over (usually on the computer keyboard since I work from my parents' house)
Sometimes I think ahead and catch it into a bottle, but since he refuses the bottle it goes to waste anyway...
Fortunately we're about the start rice cereal so that will mean more use of pumped milk!