When Motherhood Makes You Feel Like A Boob

Fire
Originally uploaded by guiguis

I'd been a mom about a week when I learned that having a super-sterile breast pump is not worth burning your house down.

I was downstairs, folding laundry around the baby asleep in the sling by Dr. Sears (enthusiastically endorsed by Dr. Searls), hoping CNN might catch me up on what had happened while I'd been in the hospital. Suddenly, "Arr, Arr, ARR!" The smoke alarms blasted tranquility to bits and I raced upstairs to find 4-foot flames where, an hour before, there'd been a pot starting to boil the bits of my breast pump squeaky clean. Far be it for any bacteria to invade my little youngster...who may someday overcome the smoke inhalation he endured as I doused the fire, carried the molten mess outside, and explained the debacle to the arriving fire fighters.

It wasn't long after that recapturing spilled breast milk with a (brand new! but still – ew) sponge seemed like a a better alternative than letting the hard-won elixir be paper-toweled into the trash.

First Baby Picture
Originally uploaded by me

I wish I could say, 5+ years into this, that mommy-brain gets better as children get older. I mean, as their wits sharpen, shouldn't ours?? But if the mis-rsvp'd birthday invitations, neglected birthday wishes — with the birthday-person waiting expectantly on the phone for me to clue in, no less — and increasingly intricate and artistic pattern of rim and bumper bashes are any indication (thank goodness for EFF stickers), no amount of ginko biloba will serve to reverse the degenerative effects. Time to just relax and enjoy the slide.

All A-Kindle

With Robert's and Ernie's rave reviews now in, I'm one-clicking myself a Kindle even as you're reading this. If you're similarly inclined, or still enjoying your 1st Gen model, keep in mind Bag and Baggage is one of the many blogs available for your reading pleasure on Amazon's toy practical and useful-looking device.

This Kindle thing is quite a racket!

It's never ok to lie — but when it comes to kids persuasion is a matter of simple survival

Advocacy is the art of telling the truth in the most compelling manner you can muster.

"Conning" has gotten a bad name (I blame Paul Newman and Robert Redford), but I'm pretty confident (pun intended) the advice in David Borgenicht's and Janes Grace's How to Con Your Kid is ethically sound. The book is more like basic advocacy training for when the judge and jury are under six or so. What, like it's supposed to be a level playing field? Their persuasive skills are unparalleled. These "cons" just begin to give you a fighting chance. It hasn't left my bedside table in two years.

Amorous Greek Octopi

Octopodi by Talantis Films was one of the Oscar nominees for best animated short. Spotted on CBS News Sunday Morning (through the joy of TiVo). Parakalo.

Sweet Submission

A key perk of being a Southern California lawyer is regular, mostly decent exposure to Justice Arthur Gilbert's guffaw-inducing columns in the Los Angeles Daily Journal. They're also posted to his blog, Gilbert Submits, so you can see for yourself what I mean. Twenty years' worth are now collected in book form, with proceeds going to the California Judges Foundation. An ideal gift for the Courtoon lover in your life.