Top Ten Signs Of Toddler Parenthood

Every now and then a Top Ten list bubbles out of me. It appears, however, that I've shifted themes a bit. As if the short person hurtling periodically across your field of vision weren't enough, here are some things that might indicate you've unleashed a toddler on the world:

1. As fast as your child is getting big, you're getting old faster.


2. Fruit leather. In all possible receptacles.


3. Wikipedia provides helpful memory supplementation as to what precisely sleep might be.


4. Ditto routine personal hygiene.


5. Your vacuum cleaner cow has put in for overtime.


6. Among the things keeping you up at night: two plus years, and counting, of precious/unedited video.


7. Spousal exchange: "Whatever it is you're doing horizontal on the couch with the TV on, it's not child care."


8. You have learned humankind has no innate ability to distinguish between a makeup brush and a paint brush.


9. You have learned it does no good to allocate an iota of consciousness to all the times your child has almost, but not quite, done him/herself in.


10. What sticks with you from Blawg Review #53: Things You Don't Want To Hear Your 5-Year Old Say.

List in progress: Top Ten Things A Toddler Is Thinking. Suggestions? (It won't rival this incredible spontaneous collaborative work — thanks Jeneane, you made my week — but could be good for a chuckle or two.)

LinkedOut

Roll your own social network: Congratulations, Marc, on PeopleAggregator! Looks amazing, can't wait to kick the tires. (Some related meta-discussion re identity and identity systems considerations. And the cliff notes.)

Google Calendar: amen.

Blawg Review #53: good enough you'll like it even if you hate taxes.

No StreamCast settlement: "Streamcast hopes to demonstrate in court that it neither promotes nor encourages infringement by its users."

Behold the Podcasting Legal Guide! Well done Colette, all.

Down and out in Newport Beach.

Looking forward to San Francisco later this week (where Jorn and I may or may not share a commiserative cuppa joe...).

Happy Easter

Mothers' Day Mashup

Tyler, my son, has 7 grandmothers (honest: 3 living greats, my mom, my spouse's mom, and both our dads' second wives). So Mother's Day each year is something we try to think about early; it's insane to orchestrate at the last minute. I'm blogging my Digital Martha Stewart inspiration for 2006 because, of the 7, only 1 or 2 read my blog and very infrequently (this should slip right under the radar). I share it with you in case you're casting about for ideas, and because it wound up costing a little over $40.00 for the finished product — a pretty good deal for such a unique gift.

1. Write or find a poem or text that conveys a message or theme. I'm going with Raising Boys: 24 Key Points To Ponder. (Which must be copyright someone — "an anonymous mother in Austin, TX?" — but finding them to request a license seems 1) impossible, and 2) overkill considering the noncommercial use.)


2. Create a book in which you mix your own photos with Creative Commons licensed photos from Flickr or elsewhere to illustrate the text. Many options are out there, even if you don't use a Mac: MyPublisher and Shutterfly to name a couple.


3. Have a blast. You won't believe what you can find on Flickr to assist with something like this. My favorite newly discovered tags: ceiling fan; jello; marbles; flush.

Neologistics

Go vote for your favorite Valleyspeak. (More.) Mine's Kevin Marks' "Wifired," followed hard by "Bukkottke" — which is indubitably hysterical, but the yuck factor is just too high. (I like Kevin's San-Franinsular, which didn't make the cut but works for the East Bay, Orange County, etc., as well.)

[Update:] Congratulations Kevin, and yet more entertaining runners up.

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